3 Gifts of Love for Your Future Husband

February 14, 2013 by 2 Comments



Valentines Day can be challenging for single women.  We all have a desire in our hearts to celebrate this holiday of love with our Mr. Right and while this year we may not be able to give material tokens of our affection there are several gifts we of love we CAN give to our future husbands, even if we haven’t met him yet.

 

Give the Gift of Living

Though it can be very tempting to want to sulk or aimlessly wander through our days just waiting for our Mr. Right one of the best gifts you can give your future husband is just living, living life.  Don’t waste this time in your life by simply waiting use it as a time to grow, learn and cultivate yourself as a individual.  Strive to grow spiritually.  Work toward profitable personal goals.  Be preparing for the future.  Taking this time to grow and thrive will be a great blessing when you begin your future marriage.

 

Give the Gift of Saving

Even if you think you may have found “The One” this Valentines Day give your future husband the gift of saving.  Save yourself physically and emotionally as much as possible until you marry Mr. Right.  With the romance of the holiday it can be easy to let your emotions and judgment get swept away in the moment but you will never regret giving the gift of saving.  We can’t know the future.  Even some of our best laid plans can be changed in a moment.  Give the gift of saving by purposing to wait to give your self to your husband.

 

Give the Gift of Praying

You may not know his name but this year for Valentine’s Day give your future husband the gift of praying.  Pray that he will be growing strong in the Lord and that he will use his time of singleness wisely.  Pray for yourself,  that the Lord will shape you into the wife your future husband needs you to be.  A few months back I created a list of 25 Ways to Pray for Your Future Husband along with a few free printable.  Feel free to look these up for more prayer ideas.

 

These are just three gifts the single woman can give her future husband.  I’m sure there are many more.  What is missing from this list?

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Songs For a Hurting Heart

December 11, 2012 by 6 Comments

Last week I shared the news with you about my ended engagement.

When there is a great pain in my heart I have found that there is no comfort like the words of a rich song.  When I have an aching heart I find that I need true words that point me to Christ and encourage my soul.

I don’t know what your heartache is today but in this sin cursed world I know I am not the only one hurting.  Here is a list of songs, some that I have honed throughout the years during various trials, kind of the “old faithfuls” you might say, and a few new ones that I only recently discovered but bring me great joy and comfort.

I hope this song list can be a blessing to you during whatever trial you face just as they have been a blessing to me.

Enjoy the links below:

Unredeemed – Selah

Jesus I My Cross Have Taken – Enfield

He’s the Only Reason I Live – Lauren Talley

By Faith – Kristen Getty

Still My Soul Be Still – Kristen Getty

It is Well – Sandi Patty

His Eye is On the Sparrow – Sandi Patty

 

 

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2 FREE Printables “25 Ways To Pray For Your Future Husband”

August 23, 2012 by 7 Comments

I’ve got a FREE gift for all Stay-At-Home Daughter readers…. just because I love you guys!

Last week I created a list to help us pray for our husbands and future husbands.  The list has 25 prayer ideas along with correlating Bible verses.  You can find the list here and here.

Today I’ve created TWO printable versons of the “25 Ways to Pray for Your Future Husband” list just for you!

This first one is a simple, poster-type printable that you can put on your Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, keep in your journal, Bible cover or frame it and hang it up anywhere you will see it often.

(Click here to view and print the PDF version)

The second printable takes the list of prayers and Bible verses and puts each one on an individual card.  These would be really nice if you printed them out on nice card stock paper so you can flip through them easily without bending them.  You could keep these in your purse, in your car, you could tape them in different locations in your house…. lots of possibilities!

(Click here to view and print the PDF version)

Know a young wife or single girl who could benefit from these prayer helps?  Do you have a regular Bible study group?  Pass them along!  Just don’t forget to leave a comment and tell us how you used them!

I would LOVE for you to share this post on Facebook, Twitter and Pintrest or link to it though your blog so many young women will be encouraged to pray for their man!

What are some creative ways we could use these printables?  Please share your ideas with us!  

*Please do not sell or distribue on another blog/website.

 

 

 

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25 Ways To Pray for Your Future Husband {Part 2}

August 21, 2012 by 4 Comments


Here is the continuation of the list, “25 Ways To Pray For Your Future Husband”!   I hope this proves to be a helpful list to guide you as you pray for your Mr. Right.  I know creating this list has greatly encouraged me to pray to more practically and specifically for my special guy.

Did you miss the first half of the list?  You can go back and read it here.

 

13.)  Pray that his heart would be one with a keen desire to serve others.

“And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”  -Mark 9:35 {NASB}

 

14.)  Pray that materialism and idols would not creep into His life but that Christ would be His one God.

“You shall have no other gods before me.”  -Exodus 20:3 {ESV}

 

15.)  Pray that joy, not complaint, would shine from his life even in the mist of trial and great pain.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.”  -Philippians 4:4 {ESV}

 

16.)  Pray that he will gain a true understanding of Love so that he may love others (God, others, you) well.

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails..”  -1 Corinthians 13:4-8a {NASB}

 

17.)  Pray that he would have compassion for the lost and a love for sharing the Gospel.

“And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”  -Mark 16:5 {ESV}

 

18.)  Pray that he would begin, even now, making wise finical decisions that will benefit his future family for years to come.

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  -1 Timothy 5:8 {NASB}

 

19.)  Pray that humility would mark his life; that pride would die daily.

 “But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.”  -James 4:6 {NASB}

 

20.) Pray that he would work with diligence and quality at any task the Lord sets before him.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might….”  -Ecclesiastes 9:10 {NASB}

 

21.)  Pray that he would be so driven by the Spirit, that Jesus would overflow into every area of his life.

“And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father.”  -Ephesians 5:18-20 {NASB}

 

22.)  Pray that he would understand that biblical authority is a good thing and that he would willingly submit himself to the authorities in his life.

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”  -Hebrews 13:17 {ESV}

 

23.)  Pray that he would endure suffering like a good solder, knowing that his Lord suffered much without sin.

“Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you….”  -John 15:20 {NASB} 

 

24.)  Pray that he would fight for truth and most of all Christ.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.”  -Ephesians 6:10-11 {NASB}

 

25.)  Pray that he will have an abundance of godly, sharpening influences in his life.  

“Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.”  -Proverbs 27:17 {NASB}

 

Later this week I’ve got a little gift for you.  I’m creating a FREE printable version of this list so you can print it out on your own and keep it with your other devotion/quiet time tools!

 

 

 

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Does God Really Give Us All The Desires of Our Heart?

August 20, 2012 by Leave a Comment

“Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.”  -Psalm 37

Does God Really Give Us All The Desires of Our Heart?

Join me over at Becoming a Strong Woman of God to find out!

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25 Ways To Pray for Your Future Husband {Part 1}

August 16, 2012 by 5 Comments


I recently read this beautiful post from Darlene at Time-Warp-Wife, “31 Ways To Pray For Our Children”.  This wonderful post inspired me to create something similar for you!

Here is a list of 25 ways that you can be praying for your future husband, whether you’ve met him yet or not.

Prayer is a powerful thing because we have a powerful God.  Don’t miss the blessing and benefits of prayer in your life and in the life of your future husband.

Here is the list, in no particular order:

 

1.)  Pray that he will continue to grow and change more and more into the image of Christ.

“For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”  -Romans 8:29 {KJV}

 

2.)  Pray that YOU will constantly be growing and sanctified into the beautiful helpmeet He needs.

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”  -Titus 2:3-5 {NASB}

 

3.)  Pray that the Gospel will impact him not only in salvation but also in every area of his life.

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, ” BUT THE RIGHTEOUS man SHALL LIVE BY FAITH.”  -Romans 1:16-17

 

4.)  Pray that He will be strong in the Lord and fight against the Lust of the flesh, guarding his purity.   

 “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”  -1 Corinthians 10:13 

 

5.)  Pray that he will own the truth that, real strength is controlled strength:  meekness, gentleness and Spirit-filled Boldness.

“but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.”  -1 Peter 3:15-16 

 

6.)  Pray that self-control would dominate His life.  

“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”  -Proverbs 25:28 {ESV}

 

7.)  Pray that He would have a hunger for knowledge and wisdom.

“How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.”  -Proverbs 16:16

 

8.)  Pray for spiritual and practical maturity well beyond his years.

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”  -James 3:17 {ESV}

 

9.)  Pray that good, strong servant-leadership skills would be cultivated in his heart.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body……Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”  -Ephesians 5 {NASB}

 

10.)  Pray for the Lord’s sovereign protection in his life.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  -Psalm 91:1-2 {NASB}

 

11.)  Pray that he would have direction and that he would prepare for the future.

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”  -James 1:5 {NASB}

 

12.)  Pray that he would have a heart of forgiveness and that forgiveness would be granted to him.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  -Ephesians 4:32 {NASB}

 

Very soon I will share the second half of the list plus a FREE printable!

What what are some specific prayer points that you use to lift up your husband or future husband?

 

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Should You Kiss Before You’re Married?

July 31, 2012 by 21 Comments

A very long time ago I made a decision to save my first kiss for my future husband, as a gift on our wedding day.  I’ve gotten a variety of responses upon hearing about this decision ranging from total agreeance (and regret for not doing the same) to total shock and disgust.

While I can’t give you chapter and verse for my decision I’d like to take some time to explain why I’ve decided to wait.  Even if at the end of this post you feel kissing before marriage is ok I hope at least a few of the points will stretch your thinking and encourage you in purity.

 

“Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart”   - 2 Timothy 2:22 {NASB}

 

4 Reasons I’m Saving My First Kiss

1.)  Physical Purity

Kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex but rarely is there sex without a lead up of kissing.  In an effort to protect my physical purity I have made the choice to save my first kiss for my husband.  My flesh is weak (much weaker than I even realize) and I want to do everything in my power to shield myself from even the temptation of sexual impurity by not allowing myself to do things that could lead me to stumble.

2.)  Emotional Purity

God designed physical contact to bring on emotions.  It makes you feel close to a person and begins to create a feeling of oneness.  These emotions are good and right in the context of marriage and should culminate in the ultimate physical unity that a husband and wife should share; but before marriage I want to shy away from these types of emotions.  I only want to have these emotions toward my husband.  I don’t ever want to risk sharing these feelings with another man who I am not yet married to and I don’t want to unlock desires that cannot rightly be acted upon before I say “I do”.

3.)  Sacredness  

To me a kiss is something special and valuable, not something cheap to be thrown around and given to many.  Delayed gratification is often much sweeter.  I want to save as much of myself as possible for my husband, not just the bare minimum.  My future husband is worth the gift of my first kiss and even if I’m sure a guy is “the one” I can’t see the future.  Something could change that is beyond my control and I don’t want to chance giving a kiss away to someone who I don’t end up marrying.  I also don’t want to chance giving my kiss to a man who ends up being someone else’s husband.

4.)  Health

Kissing is not only intimate on a physical and emotional level it is also intimate on a heath and wellness level.  If you (or the one whom you are kissing) makes a habit of sharing this affection with others there is more chance of coming in contact with a variety of illnesses and diseases.  The chance of this happening is drastically reduced if a couple is committed to keeping their kisses confined to their marriage partner.

 

Myths About Waiting For Your First Kiss

  • Awkwardness

I’ve heard people shoot down the idea of saving their first kiss for the alter because they are afraid that it will appear awkward and embarrassing.  I don’t think this is something to be too worried about.  God created this expression of love to be a natural thing and honestly I don’t see how it could be too hard.  It’s not rocket science :-) …. especially considering the type of kiss that would be appropriate in a marriage ceremony.  I’ve known several couples who have waited and none of them seemed to have any trouble. :-)

  • Compatibility

I have heard it said that if you don’t kiss someone before you are married you will not be able to tell if you are compatible with them.  Let me just say that if a person is basing their decision of marriage on a kiss they need to go back and evaluate their motives for marriage and make sure they line up with God’s purpose for marriage.  God already created men and women to be physically compatible.  We should be more concerned about things like spiritual compatibility and God’s will in our decision making than kissability.

I hope this post has given you some food for thought.  Even if there are parts that you disagree with I do hope it has given you a few things to consider, maybe helped you formulate in your own mind what you believe about kissing and encouraged you to put value on kissing and all physical gestures.

Above all strive to glorify God with your purity, mirroring the ultimate purity of God’s character!

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4 Tips For Getting To Know Guys

July 17, 2012 by 2 Comments

Strong, Christian men are hard to come by these days.  Strong, single Christian men are even harder to find.  I get emails in my inbox and talk to other girls all the time who are asking the same question:  How can we meet and get to know good christian guys?

I’m certainly not an expert at this but I have asked myself that question many times in the past.  There is no cut and dry answer but after much thought and several conversations with guys, young and old, I found these tips to be biblical and very helpful…. 

#1  Plug Into A Biblical Church

If you are looking to meet like minded Christian men the most logical place to start would be a good Bible believing church.  Plug yourself into a strong healthy church that puts an emphasis on training and discipling young men (and women).  Not only is regularly attending a strong, healthy church important for your sanctification and spiritual growth but it will also be good for the young men there.  Some of the fruits of a healthy church are deep, passionate Christ followers and that’s what you should be looking for in a future husband.

Not only do strong churches encourage maturity in the men who are already there but they should also draw in new, godly men who are seeking to be fed well on the Word

Our God is a creative God who loves diversity.  He is powerful enough to orchestrate meeting our future spouse in so many creative ways that I couldn’t even begin to count but I always counsel people to plug into a good church and use that as a starting place.

#2 Be Friendly

Be friendly.  Not flirtatious, friendly.  I’ve had several conversations with single guys in regards to initiating relationships and one of the biggest de-motivators for them is seemingly unfriendly, unapproachable women.

We might complain all day long that guys aren’t stepping up and pursuing but we can’t necessarily pin all the blame on them.  It’s super intimidating for a guy to begin a friendship, let alone a relationship, with a girl if she doesn’t ever make an effort to be congenial or talk with guys. It’s also difficult for them to get to know us if we can only be found in a click of girl friends, never broadening our friendship circle to include guys.

#3 Look Past Your Ideals 

Every girl should have a list of non-negotiables when it comes to relationships but we often confuse the “Must haves” (non-negotiables) with the “Hope Sos” (preference).

 Don’t limit your friendships or relationship considerations to only the guys who fit into your “Ken doll preference box”.  No guy is going to be perfect and it’s a good idea to be willing to get to know those who are different (looks, culture, likes, occupation) than maybe you had always imagined your future husband to be.  Sometimes you will find that God has someone different in mind for you with qualities or interests that fit you much better than you had imagined on your own.

#4  Rest In God’s Sovereignty

You can do all the things mentioned above: place yourself in a healthy Christian environment, be friendly/easy to approach and flexible with your preferences but at the end of the day we’ve got to rest in God’s sovereignty.

He is the one who writes our story.  We can work to make ourselves ready and available for the blessed job of being a wife but ultimately the timing is up to God.  His time table is always best.

While you’re waiting, rest in Him, be diligent with the tasks and responsibilities at hand.  Bloom where you are planted.  Enjoy singleness and all it’s many benefits.  Enjoy sharpening friendships with both girls AND guys.  There is a lot we can learn from our Christian guy friends!

What are some good tips you have found for cultivation strong male friendships?

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10 Questions to Ask Before Starting A Relationship

June 21, 2012 by 1 Comment

Whether you call it dating or courting, starting a relationship is a serious decision.  Your heart and purity are valuable and worth protecting.  Courtship shouldn’t be approached in fear, God designed the romantic wooing of a man and woman to be a beautiful gift but wisdom and council is a must!

This is not an all inclusive list but here are 10 good starter questions to ask when considering a relationship:

 

1.}  Are you ready to think about marriage? 

Am I at an age where marriage is really a reasonable option?  Do my authorities feel I am spiritually, practically and emotionally mature enough for marriage in the near future?

2.}  Is the person you’re interested in a strong believer who shares similar convictions?

It’s not good enough for him to SAY he’s a Christian.  Does his life bare the fruits of a true believer?  Being equally yoked goes farther than just salvation.  Does the man you are interested in have similar doctrine and practice as you do?

3.}  Is the person you are interested in ready for marriage?

Is he spiritually, practically, financially and emotionally mature enough to biblically lead a wife in the near future?  What do your authorities think?

4.}  Would you really consider marrying this person?

If you really can’t see yourself even possibly marrying this person why start the relationship in the first place?

5.}  Have you prayed about this and do you feel God leading in this direction?

Prayer works.  Prayer matters.  Have you talked to God about your hopeful courtship?   Have you searched His Word to see if this man is in line with God’s standards?

6.}  Are both of your authorities on board with starting the relationship?

Are your parents (or other authorities) comfortable with you starting a relationship?  What about his parents?

7.}  What are your physical standards for courtship and engagement?

Be very specific.  What is ok and what is not ok with you and your parents?  Will your standards look different at different stages of the relationship?

8.}  When and where is it acceptable to spend time together?

What does “alone” mean to you?  What does it mean to your parents?  What time restraints are you and your parents comfortable with?

9.}  Does the young man know your standards in regards to a relationship?

Have you or your parents discussed with the young man what you do and do not feel comfortable with?  Have you talked to the young man about his standards?  Can you come to an agreement to make both parties comfortable?

10.}  How do you plan to keep the door open for council and direction with your authorities and mentors?

Will you be meeting with them on a regular basis?  Have you purposed to build a relationship with your authorities in such a way that both of you can bring concerns and questions to each other in a loving manner?

There are lots of good questions to ask before beginning a relationship and I know I didn’t cover them all!  What did I forget?  Feel free to add to the list in the comments!

 

 

 

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5 Reasons To Submit To Your Dad

June 14, 2012 by 6 Comments

As a single adult woman I have made the choice to be a stay-at-home daughter.  I live with my family and flowing out of that I have chosen to submit to my parents; and more specifically my father’s authority.  I have chosen to do this until the day I am given in marriage to my future husband, when I will willingly begin to submit to him.

Today I’ve just been considering what a wonderful gift I have in submitting to my father’s leadership and authority.  So many wonderful things have come out of this arrangement and I feel truly blessed.

Today I’d like to take a moments to share with you just a few of the many benefits of submitting to your father’s authority while you remain a single woman.

1.}  Protection

Between creepy guys wanting your number, the subtle lies of our culture and our own deceptive emotions it’s a dangerous world out there girls!

One of the greatest benefits I’ve enjoyed as a stay-at-home daughter is the loving protection that my father has faithfully given me.  He takes his job seriously when it comes to protecting me physically as well as my heart and purity.  He’s older, wiser and because he’s a man he isn’t as easily swayed by passing emotions.  My daddy can see through the lies the world (or certain young men) try to feed me much better than I can and he always steps up to protect me.

2.}  Provision

My father takes the financial responsibility in our home upon himself and by God’s grace he provides for our needs.  I’ve been very grateful that as I have remained under his authority he has also continued to take the financial burden off of me.  I know this is a sacrifice on his part but it has allowed me to minister and have more time to hone the homemaking skills that I will need in the future.

My father has also taken the brunt of the pressure of choosing my future husband off of my shoulders.  He has actively looked to help provide a future mate for me.

3.}  Leadership

Feminist try to tell us that it’s “freedom” to make ALL of our own decisions. I don’t call that freedom I call that PRESSURE.  To me that’s a big responsibility I just don’t want.

As an adult, my parents do allow me to make a lot of my own choices; but I still trust and submit to my father’s leadership in such a way that I don’t have the weight of ALL of those big decisions on my shoulders.  My father is a wise, experienced leader created for that job, I’m not.  Submitting to his godly leadership practically and spiritually is a big blessing.

4.}  Preparation

No one can ever be completely ready for marriage but good preparation is important.  Living at home and under my father’s authority and observing my mother has allowed me to learn and practice, in a small way, the submission I desire to have towards my future husband.  Studying my parent’s strong marriage has also helped me understand better what I need in a husband one day.

5.}  Relationship

Being a stay-at-home daughter helps me have a good, close relationship with my entire family, including my father.  Living in the same home as my father allows me to regularly see and learn what things are important to him. I would have missed out on so many opportunities to get to know my father if I did not choose to live under his loving authority!

Those were just a few reasons why being a stay-at-home daughter, submitted to my father’s authority is so attractive to me.  I hope this post was an encouragement to you and maybe even brought up a few things to consider in regards to your years as a single woman.

Note:  I understand that not every woman in my stage of life has the luxury of submitting to a godly, caring father.  This post in not meant to push you into a cookie-cutter mold that your were not meant to be in but rather to encourage those who do have godly fathers to strongly consider embracing their authority.  For those who, for whatever reason, cannot remain under their father’s leadership but wish to experience some of the wisdom and protection I mentioned in this post please don’t be discouraged!  There are other good, God honoring options!  If you are interested in hearing more about this, feel free to leave a comment or send me an email at stayathomedaughter@hotmail.com 

What are some of the benefits you’ve found while being a stay-at-home daughter under your father’s protection and authority?  If an adult daughter wishes to have protection and guidance but is unable to receive it from her parents what other suggestions do you have for her?

 

 

 

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