Whether you call it dating or courting, starting a relationship is a serious decision. Your heart and purity are valuable and worth protecting. Courtship shouldn’t be approached in fear, God designed the romantic wooing of a man and woman to be a beautiful gift but wisdom and council is a must!
This is not an all inclusive list but here are 10 good starter questions to ask when considering a relationship:
1.} Are you ready to think about marriage?
Am I at an age where marriage is really a reasonable option? Do my authorities feel I am spiritually, practically and emotionally mature enough for marriage in the near future?
2.} Is the person you’re interested in a strong believer who shares similar convictions?
It’s not good enough for him to SAY he’s a Christian. Does his life bare the fruits of a true believer? Being equally yoked goes farther than just salvation. Does the man you are interested in have similar doctrine and practice as you do?
3.} Is the person you are interested in ready for marriage?
Is he spiritually, practically, financially and emotionally mature enough to biblically lead a wife in the near future? What do your authorities think?
4.} Would you really consider marrying this person?
If you really can’t see yourself even possibly marrying this person why start the relationship in the first place?
5.} Have you prayed about this and do you feel God leading in this direction?
Prayer works. Prayer matters. Have you talked to God about your hopeful courtship? Have you searched His Word to see if this man is in line with God’s standards?
6.} Are both of your authorities on board with starting the relationship?
Are your parents (or other authorities) comfortable with you starting a relationship? What about his parents?
7.} What are your physical standards for courtship and engagement?
Be very specific. What is ok and what is not ok with you and your parents? Will your standards look different at different stages of the relationship?
8.} When and where is it acceptable to spend time together?
What does “alone” mean to you? What does it mean to your parents? What time restraints are you and your parents comfortable with?
9.} Does the young man know your standards in regards to a relationship?
Have you or your parents discussed with the young man what you do and do not feel comfortable with? Have you talked to the young man about his standards? Can you come to an agreement to make both parties comfortable?
10.} How do you plan to keep the door open for council and direction with your authorities and mentors?
Will you be meeting with them on a regular basis? Have you purposed to build a relationship with your authorities in such a way that both of you can bring concerns and questions to each other in a loving manner?
There are lots of good questions to ask before beginning a relationship and I know I didn’t cover them all! What did I forget? Feel free to add to the list in the comments!