Why Women Should Respect Men

There is a disease spreading across America like a cancer.  It’s infecting our lives, our churches, our homes.  It’s an illness that is creeping in subtly with symptoms that seem harmless and innocent at first but if not treated quickly and aggressively will lead to much destruction and loss.

The blatant disrespect of men.  It’s tearing apart out homes and our families.  God ordained the authority of husbands and fathers and He put a deep desire in every man to feel respected.  When we dishonor our authorities and belittle men in general it destroys our relationships and undermines the plan God laid out for Biblical roles.

I understand this is a two way street and both men and women have a responsibility to value the unique roles of the opposite sex but today I want to speak to you, strong ladies.  

Our feministic culture has done everything in it’s power to strip away the very thing men want most, respect.  It strives to crush the authority and worth of husbands, fathers, brothers, friends in the name of so called “equality”.

This is not right!  It is destructive and harmful to everyone involved.  Our sovereign God created beautiful roles for both men and women.  Each hold the same value but each are created to fulfill different roles according to the strengths they have been given.  Women are by nature nurturers and helpers designed to support and encourage the men that God has placed in their lives to protect, provide for and lead them.

Scripture commands that wives be loved and cherished by their husbands while wives are commanded to respect the authority and leadership of their husbands.  

 Each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.  -Ephesians 5 {NASB}

God built within women the deep desire to be cared for and treasured by men but especially by their husbands.  Likewise God designed men to long for the respect of women, especially their wives.  We find ourselves feeling the most fulfilled when we are operating within the roles God has given us because they compliment the desires He has gifted us with.  

While the highest form of love and respect is certainly to be shared between a husband and wife, lesser versions of these traits should be openly displayed in all our relationships.  Men should always strive to care for and protect women and women should always strive to show appropriate respect to men.

As we see plainly in the media, our culture has tried to steel the joy of healthy friendships and relationships by encouraging the disrespect of men.

It’s time to stand up.  It’s time to throw off the feministic mindset that says men lack value.  It’s time to show proper respect and love to the men in our lives!

3 Reasons Why You Should Respect Men

1.}  First, we must do this because it pleases God.  How can we so callously discard the roles and desires He has so carefully placed in men?  Operating in love and respect towards others displays the glory of the Gospel and shouts to a dark world the Light of Christ!

2.}  Secondly, let us show respect to the men in our lives because of our love for them, because we are commanded to love them as we love ourselves.


3.}  And last of all, we should be showing respect to the men around us because it is good for ourselves.  We were designed to enjoy properly respecting men, only after the fall did it become a struggle to maintain this fulfilling state.  Also, when we rightly show respect it many times encourages men to treasure and protect us in return which greatly adds to our sense of fulfillment.

We’ve spent two weeks learning what it means to respect men.  We’ve had six intriguing guest posts from a young guy sharing his heart on a man’s desire for respect.  We even had the opportunity to hear 20 men of varied ages give us their definition of respect.


We have the tools, we’ve learned what true respect looks like.  Now what are we going to do about it?  What are you going to do about it?


Our culture does everything in it’s power to destroy biblical roles and to crush the God given desires men and women have for love and respect.  Stand with me and defy this destructive mentality!   

Love your brothers by showing them the respect they truly want and you are commanded to give!  

Photo Credit


Project//RESPECT Survey:

20 Christian Guys Tell What They Think About Respect


Other posts in the Project//RESPECT series:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find Out What Is Means To Me 

Do You Trust Me? 

Conflicts With Men

Man or Mouse? 

Things You Might Not Know About Respect 

Paper Airplanes… and Respect 




I’m linked up to:


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  1. Diane Kullerstrand says:

    While I understand what you are getting at, it is still a fact that respect is something that is earned. I suspect that the reason most men don’t get the respect they want is because they don’t act in a manner towards their wives, girlfriends or friends that earns their respect. It is an age old problem to be sure. Even if women faked respect and gave them a facade of respect, they would still be able to tell it isn’t real. Respect is a two way street. Not something you just get because you want it. I enjoy your blog.

    • Hi Diane! Thank you for your comment.

      I think sometimes the words respect and trust can be mixed up. Though they are closely related to each other they are different. Perhaps you are referring to ‘trust’ not ‘respect’. When possible we should trust our husbands, authorities and the men in our lives but some do prove to be untrustworthy. During those times we must trust God to work despite their faults.

      Honor and respect however are things ordained by God and not conditional. God commands in His Word that we honor/respect certain people with no acceptions: parents, husbands, pastors, authorities and there is also a degree of respect we should have towards all people. This is not a conditional respect just as love should not be conditional. When we respect those who don’t deserve it that displays the love of the Gospel and mirrors the headship/respect relationship within the Trinity. Also showing respect to those who are unworthy can be a tool God uses to draw a person to Christ.

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I hope this clarifies what I meant.

      • Thank you for writing this article. Inspired by it, I wrote my own but from a different perspective. While this article focused on the duty of women to respect the men in their lives, I wrote about how the bible requires all people to treat all other people with respect because all people were created by the Lord God in his image and because he sent his only begotten son to die for our sins. If Christ Jesus sacrifice his life for us, died to save those who did evil towards him, surely we can sacrifice our pride and be kind to those who have been unkind to us. So many people complain about the lack of courtesy today. Remember, we can’t change other people but we can change ourselves. By doing so, we can even cause others to repent of their sins and inspire them to make changes in themselves. That change might not happen to the people who first wronged us, but it might happen to those who saw how we reacted.

        Romans 12:9-21 9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. 10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; 12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. 14 Bless them which persecute you: bless , and curse not. 15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice , and weep with them that weep . 16 Be of the same mind one toward another . Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written , Vengeance is mine; I will repay , saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger , feed him; if he thirst , give him drink : for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

        Must Respect Be Earned?

  2. Jennifer Wuth says:

    I can’t wait to have a boyfriend/husband to respect. But all too often, I end up with the jerks who only want a girl for one thing…I know this is not all guys, and I really don’t know what the good, godly guys can do to shine out more, but if he is following God and loving me, I don’t think i will be able to NOT respect him. My concern is more of does he want respect or something else? I know God has my guy (if I’m meant to get married as I already almost have) for me, and I know He is molding Him just for me and for His will, but it’s hard to find him among the pervs and jerks…LOVING this series though!! Thanks for taking the time to research all of this for us!

    • Jennifer, waiting on God’s timing can be so hard and yes, there are many men in this world who don’t have a deep love for God or true respect and love for women.

      Be encouraged. Our God is so powerful. Even in the driest of places He can bring a God-fearing man.

      If you haven’t already I’d encourage you to plug yourself into a strong, healthy, biblical church with a passion for Christ and discipling believers. Finding a church where training young men to be strong men of God is a priority will be such a blessing, even if just good friendships come out of it. Keep in mind though our God is a creative God who loves diversity. He can provide a good man for you through any number of ways.

  3. I have really enjoyed reading the post in this series! The post have been a constant reminder of how I should treat the men that I encounter in my life. Even though I am around basically no men around my age(19)I am around older men(at my church) and especially my dad.
    I have learned and been taught that a constant and genuine respect for my dad will help prepare me for respecting say my future husband! Showing respect to my dad can be hard at times, but I do know who truly important it is and how much of a blessing it is to everyone involved.
    (I’m not a very good writer, but that was “my thought”!!!)
    Thank you for these posts!! And thank you to the men who have shared from the hearts on this matter.
    Blessings in Christ
    April Olivia

  4. Diane Kullerstrand says:

    Hi Ashley,
    You bring up some interesting points. I think there are different levels of respect and when you get to know someone on a deeper level, trust becomes a part of it. Honor seems to be a lighter version of respect. For example, I am commanded to honor my Father and Mother and I do that by not talking badly to them and respecting that they did their best to raise me. I honor them by how I treat them. They have the honor because of who they are and because they have put the time into my life. We have a different relationship with our significant others in our life. I can honor my husband by thanking him for doing the things he should by working and going to church and being faithful to me etc. If he were a bad person and didn’t do these things, was a cheater and liar and so forth, why would he be respected? I think this may be why men don’t get the respect they want. I can’t imagine a man not getting respect if he acted in a way to women etc, that would gain respect. How could a woman not respect a man if she was being treated in a nice way that is respecting her? I hope this makes sense.

    • I believe I understand where you are coming from and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

      I’ve been learning recently that respect is not a feeling it’s an choice. It’s very similar to love in this way (love is a choice not a feeling). We are always commanded to show love even when our feelings to not follow. Just like love will look different in different circumstances so will respect however we must have both for our husbands even when we do not feel like it. Why? Because the Lord commands it for our good and His great glory.

      Thank you so much for your thought provoking questions! :-)

  5. Tacicia Bryan says:

    I know that I can make a bigger effort in respecting men in my life. I want to make a change.

    • Tacicia, thank you for your transparency. I’m sure each of us has things we can work on in this area. Praying the Lord blesses you and your effort to serve Him by respecting our brothers.

  6. J. Espinosa says:

    First excellent blog post. I think more women and in fact more Godly women should be doing this. Why is that when powerful unbiblical men are given respect in the public it’s expected and highly favored. But when I do the same, I get snares that my husband is controlling and I have no opinion. My husband deserves and gets respect with our family. How I respond and treat him privately or in public is a representation of our marriage. God gave him to me for a reason to lead our family in all aspects.

  7. I was once roasted on a feminist forum. The most telling comment came from a woman who despised I should suggest an overwhelmed woman ask her husband what was the most pressing thing he wanted her to do each day until she got caught up. The commenter’s opinion about her own husband was, “He’s my husband, not my employer.” Apparently, she had more respect for an employer than her own husband. Very telling, indeed, and very, very sad. I truly believe husbands are at the very bottom of the respect ladder these days.

  8. While I hear what Dianne is saying about respect being earned… Here is m y 2cents worth.
    Respect is also a choice, I can chose to respect my hubby even when he is a jerk because I know it will give glory to God; and isn’t that really what we are here for? to glorify our creator? On the flip side of our husbands earning our respect, how would women feel if they were told by their husbands that they had to earn his love?
    I am a wife who has to work outside the home b/c hubby does what he loves for little pay, and my struggle is respecting his choice of work when it forces me to work in order to get all the bills paid.
    Thank you for this article!

  9. Thanks for blogging on this topic! My friend and I were having a conversation about just this subject earlier this afternoon. I’m going to forward your post to her. Thank you!!

  10. Ashley what a wonderful post. This is very true- this feminist mindset it destroying a lot of things. And even more than feminism is the lack of respect- women trashing their husband amongst other women when they are frustrated, not letting their husbands lead, etc. Great truths you have written about here, and a blessing to read and encourage me as I work on this.

    Nicole at Working Kansas Homemaker

  11. wonderful thoughts!

    Come check out my list of 100 Smoothies! Comment if you’d like on which one is you favorite!

    Love, Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/2012/04/100-smoothie-recipes.html

  12. Awesome post, Ashley! Thanks for being brave enough to tackle this very controversial and tough topic!

  13. What great advice! This isn’t always easy to do, but God requires it and there are blessings when we follow God’s word. Thanks for sharing. :) Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com

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