All this talk of dating and courtship may have you wondering what my opinion is on all this. You know by now that though I am not against the word ‘dating’ I do prefer to use the word ‘courtship’. What exactly does that look like to me? What is my definition of courtship? I’d love to take a moment to share that with you!
I can’t tell you I’m an expert on biblical relationships (or what I like to refer to as ‘courting’) but I would like to share with you the way me and my family feel most comfortable maintaining the 5 Essencials For A Biblical Courtship that I talked about in the last post.
There is so much I could say here but I will just hit the main points and let you ask any questions in the comment section that you may be unclear about.
Basically an ideal courtship for me would look like this:
Much Authority & Accountability
I fully submit myself to my parents authority and stay in places where they and others can keep me accountable. My parents help to lead and guide any relationships.
We have a mutual trust relationship: I trust them because I know they are seeking the Lord and want what is best for me > They trust me because they know I am seeking the Lord and desire His best for me. As a resault I do not start a realtionship without their blessing and they do not allow me to start a relationship without much thought and prayer.
Marriage is a wonderful time when all restraints are taken off and physical contact is pure and free. Before that I like to keep physical contact to a minimum with no contact in the beginning of a relationship and just a little later down the road and only with the blessing of my authorities. Special things like kissing will be sweeter and more suspenseful if I wait till after the ‘I dos’! Having restrained physical contact also helps me to protect my purity in mind.
Above all, I want Christ to be the center of my life and this includes my relationships too. All relationships are to be for His glory and my sanctification.
I’m a list kind of person. I literally think in charts and lists to organize my thoughts so I’ve created a little color coded chart with my courtship preferences. I know that seems a bit comical but it helps me to write things down that are important to me.
Is this chart perfect? No. Is this the ONLY way to do it? Absolutely not! Will I fail sometimes and not keep the standards I’ve made for myself? You’d better believe it! But it’s a starting place to help keep wisdom and purity close by me.
The intent in sharing this chart with you is not to create a legalistic, extra biblical grid for you but rather to help keep myself and and my someone as far a way from temptation and sin as possible. I recognize this is not the only way to do that but this is the way that is most comfortable for me and my family.
Use this chart as a conversation starter, something to cause you to think deeply about what you believe, even take a few of the ideas to use for yourself but please DO NOT treat this as Gospel. Different situations will call for different methods. I mainly want this to be something to provoke thought and encourage growth. Remember above all else seek to glorify God in all you do!