If you’ve graduated from high school and been single for any length of time you’ve probably been told on more than one occasion that singleness is a gift and you need to treat it as such. You need to be proactive and use this time wisely because you will probably never have as much time and freedom on your hands as you have now.
This is all very true but what does using singleness wisely mean? What are some practical ways a woman can proactively maximize her singleness?
Our single years are a perfect time to prepare for a future marriage and family and they should also be recognized as a time to grow in sanctification and a closer walk with the Lord. Our God is a creative God who loves diversity so the way each woman goes about achieving these things will look different based on the different life God has given each of us.
With that understanding I want to give you a list of helpful suggestions on your quest to maximize your singleness.
- Take this time to study the Word deeply. Single years are a great time to join Bible studies and mentorships led by mature Christian women. Not only will you learn so much now but after a husband and children time will be limited and there may not be as much opportunity to meet as regularly with a mentor or bible study group as you once had.
- Take this time to invest in ministry and service projects. I am currently involved in several ministries through our church. I sing regularly during church services and also for several nursing/retirement homes. I’ve been able to use this time to start the Knit Together in Love scarf project (LINK)!!! and also to give my time watching children so their parents can have a rest.
- Use this time to learn practical life skills needed for good homemaking. I’ve been blessed to have a mother who has invested in me and taught me how to cook and keep house. I’ve also very much enjoyed studying homemaking books and blogs that give wonderful practical ideas on both of these topics.
- Once you have a family of your own there will be less time to grow new deep friendships (thought it certainly is possible and should happen). It’s a great idea to cultivate deep friendships with other young women now so that later on down the road you will have a good iron sharpening iron support system already in place.
- In a day and age where we have nearly limitless access to knowledge (through the internet etc.) it seems that more people are less prepared for life than ever before. Take advantage of the vast access to the knowledge of other godly men and women and study now what it means to be a good, godly wife and mother.
- Though it would be very unwise waste all of our singleness on entertainment and recreational activities, remember this is a time when you’ve never had as much freedom with as little responsibility and you may never have it again. It’s ok and actually and good thing to enjoy this freedom by pursuing fun hobbies and adventures that you probably wont have the chance to do later once you have a family. Don’t let recreational activities consume you but don’t be afraid to have some fun with the brand of freedom God has given you now.
Every season of life was given from the Lord as a gift meant to be used for His glory. We never have an excuse to sit around just waiting for the next stage in life. The grass may always look greener on the other side but rest assure God put you in the stage of life you are in right now for a good purpose…. that purpose is for His glory. If God loved and cared for us so much that He would kill His Son on our behalf we have no excuse but to give our whole lives for His glory, even our single years.
“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
-1 Corinthians 10:31 {NASB}
These were just a few ideas of how to maximize the single years. Can you encourage us by helping to add to the list? What types of things are you doing to get the most out of your singleness? Married women, what are some of the ways you used your single years or looking back what things would you have done differently?
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Spend time with the old people of your family They are dying while you are growing
I agree wholeheartedly with your focus. As a mentor for more than 15 years, this resonates with the advice I give teen and twenty-something girls.
I’d add to the list adventure and spontaneity, whether it be trying new things or traveling. Once you have a family, it becomes more expensive and more challenging.
Blessings,
Lisa
I only wish I knew about this while I was a teenager. Back then I thought the only way to be successful was to pursue ‘a career’. So I spent over 10 years trying to achieve that (struggling because I wasn’t really suited to university life), and now, with 3 children (plus one on the way) and a husband of 12 years, I’m trying to learn to be a good homemaker and wife the way God intended me to be. I think wow, what I could be now if I sowed into this from when I got married even, instead of chasing worldly ideals. I can’t get the time back, but I can teach my daughters freedom to choose what they feel naturally led to, no matter what the world thinks.
Great post! Thanks for writing it