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I’ve had my share of broken friendships. As a child and teenager I had a few close friends who I confided in and trusted to share my heart with but unfortunately some of these friendships, despite my effort to salvage them, ended with much hurt and a feeling of betrayal. During these years of struggle and disappointment I learned many things about life, human nature, how to deal with conflict and dependance on God.
When I look back at those childhood struggles I realize how God was using them to prepare me for adulthood and truly the benefits out weighted the pain and loss. I wouldn’t trade these experiences for the world. Another huge blessing that came out of my struggle was a deeper friendship with my mother.
As many of my friendships died, hers remained. She was a big source of comfort, she continually pointed me back to Christ and she constantly loved me as her friend with no strings attached.
Somewhere near high school I began to realize that she wasn’t just my mother she was my best friend. We did (do) most everything together during the day. I would tag along and help her with the grocery shopping, making dinner, cleaning sometimes and to this day I weekly enjoy sitting on her bed and just talking. During our long talks I feel like I can tell her anything without fear of judgment or rejection. We laugh together, cry together and sharpen each other with Truth.
Today I have several good, close girl friends but truly none of them can take the place of my mother.
Perhaps you are a daughter who desires this type of relationship with your mother or maybe you are a mother yourself and you would love to see this kind of closeness between you and your daughter. Today I’d like to share some tips for strengthening mother daughter relationships.
How to cultivate a close mother/daughter relationship:
1.) Be Friendly
This might seem obvious but many good mother/daughter relationships could be started if a little effort was put into it. Maybe you and your mother are not constantly yelling at each other but doing little to initiate friendly conversation. What is the difference between a business relationship and a friendship? In a business relationship, for the most part, the only topic of discussion is business. While it may be civil and pleasant, communication is shared only on a necessary basis. In a true friendship however two people share what is going on in one another’s lives. Though they may talk about necessary things the conversation goes above and beyond that because a person cares about the other. Conversation is filled with encouragement, fun and a real interest in the other’s life.
If you want to have a close relationship with your mom you need to move from a business only relationship (“Ashley, can you make dinner tonight?”, “Mom can you buy more toothpaste when you are at the store?” ) to a real friendship where you share your heart and take a deeper interest in each other’s lives.
2.) Make Time
All friendships take time. You can’t expect to have a close relationship over night or without spending quality time together. Plan times when the two of you can be together. Usually time together won’t happen by it’s self, you have to plan for it. Go out for lunch together, shop together, make dinner together, clean together, whatever. Just make an effort to spend time with one another. You should find that the more you are together the more comfortable you feel together and the closer you will grow.
3.) Have Fun
I think it’s a great thing to spend time working together. My mom and I have done this often but don’t forget to set aside some time every so often to do something fun with no real agenda. This will look different for each mother and daughter. Look for common ground, things you both enjoy and plan a day to do it together. That could be getting your nails done, shopping or maybe bike riding. It might take some thought but find something you both enjoy or try something new.
4.) Show Love
A true friendship is not based on whether or not someone loves you back. I really like what Darlene at Time Warp Wife says, “love is a gift not an exchange of emotions”. I learned this early on in my life with the broken friendships I experienced. Even if your mother (or daughter) hurts you or does not share your love and friendship, love her back. It’s biblical and that’s called true friendship. We have all failed and our sin has offend God immensely but God is faithful to give grace and love unconditionally through the death of His Son. How can we not show unconditional love and grace to those who offend us far less; and many times showing unconditional love will be just the thing to reconcile the relationship.
These are just a few tips on cultivating a strong mother/daughter friendship. Our relationship is by no means perfect but I can tell you from experience that a friendship such as this is an incredible gift! I’ve had the pleasure and opportunity to glean wisdom from my mom’s life experience but also benefit from the compassion and encouragement of a true friend. For this I am so thankful!
One last thing….. Though mother/daughter friendships are a great gift, the closest bond of friendship should be between a husband and wife. My parents have faithfully displayed that for over 20 years. This truly blesses my heart!
What are some ways you have found that help create good mother/daughter relationships?
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I have several guest posts published on other blogs this week and I’d love for you to come and visit these two amazing blogs. Feel free to read my posts but don’t forget to take a few minutes to look around and read the other great stuff found there.
This post really hit home for me as I have struggled with the fears of being single.
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About a year and a half ago I stopped reading my Bible.
Ok, you can pick yourself up off the floor. If you give me a second, I can explain.
The Bible is such an important part of our lives and we should study it thoroughly and often. I don’t mean that I stopped getting my daily dose of the Word I just stopped, for the most part, using a leather bound book.
At first I felt kind of guilty, like I was less spiritual or even wrong since I stopped using a flip-through text. Warn pages, highlighted verses and scrawled notes on the inside cover seemed so much more “spiritual”. But that method wasn’t working as well for me at least not as well as the new way I had found.
I learn better when I hear spoken word and somewhere over the last couple of years I discovered a treasure of free resources, some online Bible study tools that have really enhanced my daily digging in the Word. Some of the sources are Blue Letter Bible,Bible Gateway and Open Bible.
These tools contain the same true Words of Scripture that have been placed in bound books and ancient scrolls but they are displayed on what I find to be a more convenient, easy to read format a.k.a a computer screen. In this age of amazing technology I’ve realized I prefer reading the Bible online where I can adjust the size of the text, easily switch from book to book, version to version and instantly look up a variety of commentaries. I’ve also discovered that I love listening to the Word being read to me. If I hear something spoken that resonates better with my particular learning style. Sometimes I just sit and let it sink in as Scripture is read and other times I listen and follow along as I read the Bible straight off a website.
Technology is a neutral thing that can be used for either good or evil. I so enjoy using technology for good and taking advantage of resources like the ones I mentioned above. How amazing it is that we can fit hundreds of pages of Scripture, recourses and commentaries into a tiny computer, ebook reader or cellphone that can be held in the palm of our hand and used anywhere!
So why do we sometimes feel guilty replacing the hold-in-your-hand, flip-through pages for verses on a computer screen?
For me I think I was putting the emphasis in the wrong place. I had somehow concluded that this paper where I read the Word of God was of equal value with the Words of scripture it’s self. That was a very faulty view. Paper and bound leather may rip, tear or even burn, but God’s Words will last forever! God has faithfully preserved His Word through the ages and it really doesn’t matter if we read it out of a book or off of a computer screen it’s the Word of God that is of eternal value, not the medium it is presented through.
The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever. -Isaiah 40
Now please don’t get me wrong. Everyone has a different way they prefer to hear the Bible. Some like to hold on to a book in their hands and have their fingers glide over the pages, others who prefer to listen may glean more from hearing God’s Word spoken. Some people enjoy the convenience of reading the Word online and still others enjoy a combination of these methods. None of these ways are wrong or inferior.
The important thing is to keep God’s Word flowing into your heart on a regular basis. You don’t have to feel guilty about using a nontraditional method. Choose a way to hear the Word that is best for you and helps you dig down deep!
With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. -Psalms 119
Even if you prefer to use a paper copy of the Word you might still like to check out these websites. They are truly amazing and so helpful. They are great for finding that verse you forgot the reference to or for looking up a few free commentaries on a passage you don’t quite understand. My personal favorite tool is the audio Bible feature. I get so much more out of the Word when it is read to me!
One last thing.
Biblical Freedom = Being Free To Serve Others
As Christians we are free to hear the Word in any of the ways I mentioned and probably a lot more ways that I don’t even know about. With this freedom though let’s not use it to look down at others who may prefer to hear the Word in a different way. And we should also be carful not to use our freedom as a boastful thing or a stumbling block for others.
Bible Gateway- My favorite place to listen to free audio Bibles
Open Bible – great for looking up topical Bible verse
How do you get your daily dose of the Word?
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Being a blogger is scary. There are a thousand things that can make us shake in our boots {or in my case heels}. There are trolls and stalkers, spelling criticts and haters, and then there is always that nagging thought “what do people really think about my writing”.
All those things I can (and should) push aside but there is one thing I cannot stop being afraid of and truly I think it’s a fear of the healthy kind.
My greatest fear about blogging is the enormous responsibility.
Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well….. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! -James 3
It’s a big responsibility handling the Word and it can be dangerous if it is not treated with the proper care. I must carefully guard my speech because not only do the things I say effect me but they effect all those that read my posts.
Readers trust me. They ask me questions and hear my answers.
When I had 10 followers my responsibility was much but now with the growing number of readers my responsibility is even greater.
Never do I want to mislead my readers, purposefully or unknowingly, but I am a terribly imperfect, fallible human with much to learn and I do/will fail at times.
The greatest gift a reader could give me, a blogger, is prayer.Pray that I will rightly divid the Word of Truth. Pray that I will always be diligent to search the Scripture and teach only that which is good and true. Pray that I will grow in wisdom and discernment. Pray that when I fail and get it wrong that readers will not be lead astray and that His Truth will prevail in my life and theirs.
It’s a fearful, awesome responsibility to write for you. May this fear not cause me to stop writing His message, but let it serve as a reminder to me to deal diligently and carefully with His Truth.
As always I strongly encourage you to take all that you read on this blog and lay it against the Word of God. His Word is Perfect and True.
As I serve you by writing for this blog would you serve me by praying for me, please?
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One of my sweet readers recently asked me a question about being a stay-at-home daughter. She wondered how I balance being an adult with my own opinions and ideas and being a submissive daughter. She specifically wanted to to know how I respectfully share my opinions especially when I disagree with my parents.
I’m certainly not perfect and I have a lot of ways in which I can grow but I’d love to tell you some of the things I’ve learned about this topic by sharing part of my response to her question with you.
Dear Fellow Stay-At-Home Daughter,
I am of the opinion that there is never a time in a person’s life when they are not under the authority of another. Our authorities will look different at different stages of our life and how we relate to them will also look different at different times too. As you said, in your case (and mine too) you are under the authority of your parents.
A child/parent relationship with a small child should look different from the relationship between an adult child/parent. Ideally an adult child and parent should cultivate more of a friendship (with the child still giving deference to the parents). If a good friendship is there it can be easier to share your views and just talk them through.
How does this look practically? Well, that is going to vary from relationship to relationship but here are a couple of things that I’ve learned.
Have a sweet atitude. When sharing your opinions (especially if you have a disagreement) I recommend coming with a humble attitude not a “I-know-better-than-you” or a “You’re-so-wrong” attitude.
Don’t assume the worst. Sometimes we assume someone meant one thing while they really didn’t mean that at all. It’s also easy to misunderstand motives too. Gently ask questions such as “I’m not sure I understand your view here. Can you explain and help me understand why you’d like us to do things this way, please?” When you’ve gotten all the facts if you still disagree, in most cases I think it’s a good idea to share you heart. Do it with a gentle spirit and realize they still have the last say. Always remember God can and does work everything out for good despite our imperfect authorities.
Timing is everything. Try to pick a convenient time to approach your parent,s not when they are in the middle of working on a stressful project. Sometimes you might even want to ask if you could meet with them and let your parents pick the time.
Ask questions. Most of the time people are less defensive if you ask them questions rather than giving statements. Try ASKING if you can share your heart with your parents. Surely they will say yes. Then proceed in a gracious manner.
Don’t rush them. Don’t ask your parents to make a decision right on the spot if you can help it. Ask them to pray about your idea and get back with you. Some people need time to think; and writing a respectful letter may sometimes be a good idea when sharing your ideas. I’ve done this many times.
Above all remember that God is sovereign. Even if our imperfect parents make a mistake we should still respectfully submit to them. He will still work out everything for good to them that love Him.
I hope this post was helpful to you. I’m still learning and I’m opened to more ideas. If have any more suggestions to add to this list by all means share them. How do you deal with disagreements as a stay-at-home daughter or parent of a stay-at-home daughter?
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There is a disease spreading across America like a cancer. It’s infecting our lives, our churches, our homes. It’s an illness that is creeping in subtly with symptoms that seem harmless and innocent at first but if not treated quickly and aggressively will lead to much destruction and loss.
The blatant disrespect of men. It’s tearing apart out homes and our families. God ordained the authority of husbands and fathers and He put a deep desire in every man to feel respected. When we dishonor our authorities and belittle men in general it destroys our relationships and undermines the plan God laid out for Biblical roles.
I understand this is a two way street and both men and women have a responsibility to value the unique roles of the opposite sex but today I want to speak to you, strong ladies.
Our feministic culture has done everything in it’s power to strip away the very thing men want most, respect. It strives to crush the authority and worth of husbands, fathers, brothers, friends in the name of so called “equality”.
This is not right! It is destructive and harmful to everyone involved. Our sovereign God created beautiful roles for both men and women. Each hold the same value but each are created to fulfill different roles according to the strengths they have been given. Women are by nature nurturers and helpers designed to support and encourage the men that God has placed in their lives to protect, provide for and lead them.
Scripture commands that wives be loved and cherished by their husbands while wives are commanded to respect the authority and leadership of their husbands.
Each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.-Ephesians 5 {NASB}
God built within women the deep desire to be cared for and treasured by men but especially by their husbands. Likewise God designed men to long for the respect of women, especially their wives. We find ourselves feeling the most fulfilled when we are operating within the roles God has given us because they compliment the desires He has gifted us with.
While the highest form of love and respect is certainly to be shared between a husband and wife, lesser versions of these traits should be openly displayed in all our relationships. Men should always strive to care for and protect women and women should always strive to show appropriate respect to men.
As we see plainly in the media, our culture has tried to steel the joy of healthy friendships and relationships by encouraging the disrespect of men.
It’s time to stand up. It’s time to throw off the feministic mindset that says men lack value. It’s time to show proper respect and love to the men in our lives!
3 Reasons Why You Should Respect Men
1.} First, we must do this because it pleases God. How can we so callously discard the roles and desires He has so carefully placed in men? Operating in love and respect towards others displays the glory of the Gospel and shouts to a dark world the Light of Christ!
2.} Secondly, let us show respect to the men in our lives because of our love for them, because we are commanded to love them as we love ourselves.
YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.-Luke 10 {NASB}
3.} And last of all, we should be showing respect to the men around us because it is good for ourselves. We were designed to enjoy properly respecting men, only after the fall did it become a struggle to maintain this fulfilling state. Also, when we rightly show respect it many times encourages men to treasure and protect us in return which greatly adds to our sense of fulfillment.
We’ve spent two weeks learning what it means to respect men. We’ve had six intriguing guest posts from a young guy sharing his heart on a man’s desire for respect. We even had the opportunity to hear 20 men of varied ages give us their definition of respect.
We have the tools, we’ve learned what true respect looks like. Now what are we going to do about it? What are you going to do about it?
Our culture does everything in it’s power to destroy biblical roles and to crush the God given desires men and women have for love and respect. Stand with me and defy this destructive mentality!
Love your brothers by showing them the respect they truly want and you are commanded to give!
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As we have discussed in theprior posts in this series respect is vitally important in our relationships with men. When we show respect we not only honor Christ and show love to our brothers but it’s also very beneficial for ourselves as well.
But what is it that men really want? What does respect look like to them?
I ask 20+ Christian men from many different walks of life, with ages ranging from 18-60+, what respect looks like to them.
Read on if you want to have the unique opportunity to hear from over 20 men as they share their thoughts on respect with you!
1.} Though men and women need both love and respect, do you feel that respect or love makes you feel more valued?
Love and respect shown to me make me “feel” more valued by that particular person. Ultimately my value comes from my standing in Christ and being “accepted in the beloved’ (Eph. 1:6-12). Every man has a deep down desire to be “respected” by the woman in his life (mother, sister, wife daughter, etc). when that respect is verbalized and demonstrated it seems to “increase my soul!”
Respect more than love although men often view them as the one and the same.
Although both are important. I would say respect.
If some one respects a person it’s showing that they love them.
Respect
Respect, absolutley.
I think both are important and both are needed. However, the respect issue is directly connected with the Husband’s divinely ordained role as head of the family. If a man feels respected, it will make it easier to step up to the position of leadership that God calls him to. But I think Both love and respect makes me feel valued.
Respect
Respect. Although it is nice to be loved too!
Respect.
While our real value is based on the work of Jesus Christ and therefore we should alway feel valued regardless of the circumstances, we are but human and the flesh is weak and therefore many times we rely on man’s value of us rather than on how God values us. When someone receives that love and respect from another that emotional sense of being valued by another is definitely encouraging as it confirms a unity of the heart between the individuals.
Respect
Respect
Both are significantly important, and I think that they are equal. I could not imagine a marriage being successful without both
Respect
For sure, respect is a part of a man’s love language and it makes him feel more valued.
It’s actually both. Let’s not be fooled, men desire to be loved. But respect plays a major part of the feeling of being valued. It’s the way God made us.Respect.Though love is important, if I don’t feel respected in a relationship it causes me to doubt myself and whether or not she really cares for me.
Love and respect shown to me make me “feel” more valued by that particular person. Ultimately my value comes from my standing in Christ and being “accepted in the beloved’ (Eph. 1:6-12). Every man has a deep down desire to be “respected” by the woman in his life (mother, sister, wife daughter, etc). when that respect is verbalized and demonstrated it seems to “increase my soul!”
2.} What would you say the main components of respect are to you?
Listening to me and giving me some of their time to listen to me.
There are sooo many components of respect and examples to follow, but a few would be: hearkening to what a person has to say, not demeaning them when they make mistakes, not bringing up past mistakes, tone of voice, letting someone lead is probably the biggest component that you trust and respect them. Also, thanking them for trying to lead or really for anything a fella might do for a girl is a way of showing respect. Part of respect is feeling appreciated.
Love and non degrading. In today’s day and age our society does everything in its power to degrade the position of a man
Honor, trust, loyalty, commitment
>Trust..both trusting him, and being trustworthy. >Affirming, not belittling >If in a marriage, submitting to his leadership
Appreciating the fact the I am very different from her. Wanting my opinion. Not criticizing my actions, though criticism is needed, but in a loving way. Not nagging me to do things.
Speaking words of life into me. Supporting decisions I make. Being upfront and honest to me.
It would involve appreciation, encouragement, and a willingness to be led.
to honor, show deference, to value, to trust
Admiration, awe, held in high regard
Being treated fairly, are as an equal, showing good manners. This is hard to define!
Acknowledging authority, a work ethic, etc.
Considering each person of great value in the eyes of God, and considering each person to have enormous potential for making a positive contribution in the world of not only human beings but also in the unseen world of our ultimate destination.
Looking at the meaning of the Greek word used for respect in passages such as Eph. 5:33 and I Peter 3:2, it conveys the same idea of showing reverence that we are supposed to show to God, i.e., the fear of the Lord. This is consistent with the purpose of the marriage relationship: to portray Christ’s relationship with his bride the Church. Just as the Church and its individual members are to fear the Lord, so too are wives to “fear” their husbands. The idea of having fear or respect of something is closely tied to the idea of authority. As believers, we fear God because of who he is. Specifically, we fear him because he is holy. I do not believe that wives are to show respect to their husbands because of who they (the husbands) are. This would be improper because we are unholy beings. Rather, a wife should respect her husband because of Christ within him, if he is a believer, and because of the authority the God has delegated to him, regardless of whether he is a believer. This is similar to the respect and honor we are to show to those in other authorities such as civil rulers and church leaders. From this context, it is readily apparent that submission is inherent in respect.
We are all created in the image of God, so we should all respect one another for that. We should respect everyone because each person is made in God’s image. I think Philippians 2 describes the way we relate to others quite clearly. We think of others as more important than ourselves.
Respect is shown in speaking, attitudes, and actions.
The biggest components of respect to me are acknowledgement and encouragement. I’m not talking about “being in the spotlight”, but having ladies acknowledge work that their husband does and being encouraged even if it may not be a good job. Also, being listened to by the wife/girlfriend. Having respect for the man’s point of view even if it does not make sense to them (also, even if it is totally and completely wrong) and not viewing men as villains.
Allowing for difference of opinion and not forcing your own set of ideals and idiosyncrasies onto me is a big one.
Truly listening when I speak to you. Asking for my opinions and then really taking them into consideration in a polite manner, even if you disagree with them. Speaking to me in a respectful (polite, courteous) manner, even if you aren’t feeling your best (not taking your frustrations out on me). I am more than happy to listen to your frustrations and talk to you about them, but I may not feel that way long if you act as if you are frustrated with me as well. If you are frustrated with me — let’s talk about it, but like two mature people who love and respect each other!
Will someone seek out my counsel and listen to my heart. How a person approaches me and relate to me shows me if they respect me. gratitude is also a strong indicator of respect. When one shows gratitude towards another they show respect.
1. Show you trust me 2. Showing care and interest in the things I care about 3. Accept me for who I am, not who I can become.
3.} When you feel respected by a woman does this effect your friendship or relationship with her? If so how?
Yes. She likes me for who I am.
In some ways, yes. There is a certain level of courtesy and chivalry which my brothers and I try and treat all ladies with, no matter what they think of us, but it certainly makes it easier to treat them as such when they respect you. On a friend to friend basis, if a girl is consistently making a guy feel like she doesn’t respect him personally or in his circle of friends, you can absolutely count on that fella never trying to become better friends with said person or maybe avoiding the circle of friends that girl spends time with.
It effects both because the foundation to all relationships is friendship.
If a woman does not show respect the relationship is stagnant – it cannot grow and develop. The friendship may merely be an acquaintance as opposed to a true friendship.
It causes me to respect her more as a sister in Christ. Consequently, it makes it easier and more desirable to love her appropriately within the context of the relationship. Furthermore, it helps motivate me to be more Godly.
Yes. It makes it much easier to treat her with the respect that she deserves (although how we treat ladies should not be conditional)
Yes, when I feel respected it causes me to pursue a closer relationship with her.
Absolutely. As men, we thrive on that. I think this is where extra-marital affairs can start. A man doesn’t feel respected by his wife but does by another woman and is drawn to that.
With my wife, when I feel respected it frees me to express my love to her in better ways, encourages me to be diligent in my role as husband and father, and gives me the emotional strength I need to handle life.
Definitely. It depends on the relationship. It can encourage you to have a desire to be around them more often or in a more platonic relationship it enables a better working relationship.
Yes, it does effect the relationship. Spend more time with that friend – try to figure out what they find about you that they hold in high regard.
For my wife or daughter – yes, it certainly would cause me treat them the same, and would to have greater respect for them.
Yes, Respect creates a closer relationship for men to the woman. He then wants to show her value and even respect back
Yes, it has a positive effect, making me feel better, and making me more optimistic about future dealings with that person as a sister in the world, and as a fellow contributor to the journey we share.
Respect from anyone makes a man more confident. Respect from his wife makes him secure in the relationship knowing that she trusts his leadership.
It absolutely does. I would not want to be with or around a woman that does not respect me. If she does not respect me, then how do I know she loves/cares for me? Respect to a man shows that she loves/cares about him.
Their respect and appreciation for my actions and way of doing things makes me feel loved, whether it be a friendly love or more romantic love. It makes me want to show them how much I care in return.
It helps build my self-esteem to know that she respects me. It makes me want to continue to do things that earn her respect, and will ultimately make a better man out of me (and thus a better man to have a friendship or relationship with).
When any person demonstrates respect towards another in forms the basis for a growing relationship. When respect is missing relationships usually wane.
Always increases the relationship
4.} What are 3 things that make you feel respected? What are 3 things that have made you feel disrespected?
People listening to me. People telling me I did a good job a something. My parents showing me they love me. – Ignoring me. Talking about me behind my back. Making fun of me. [ in a mean way ]
Respected: 1. Praise or acknowledgement of something done right, even if it is small. 2. someone asking you to take charge of something, even if it is as small as leading in prayer for a meal 3. When someone politely explains to you why you are wrong. That may sound strange, but when you help a guy think through why he is wrong, instead of just telling him so, or acting like he’s an imbecile for being wrong, then you help preserve the respect he feels you have for him. This is particularly important in a marriage relationship.
When someone asked my opinion without needing it. When she did something kind for me instead of expecting something from me. And just when she goes out of her way to show me she cares. Disrespected would be if she asked another person for help when she knows I can do it. When she doesn’t ask my opinion on situations, like big ones. And simple statements are the worse. Degrading statements drive men away so fast and show them you really don’t respect them.
Confidence in a decision made or in the process of making that decision Being a Confidant – one with whom secrets can be shared with the risk of betrayal or gossip. Not critical – but rather constructive – even though criticism might well be deserved. The three things that would make me feel most disrespected would be the opposite of the above three – lack of confidence, not a confidant, and always critical
1. When ladies let me lead. 2. When ladies receive the respect and love I want to show to them by trying to be a gentleman. 3. When ladies appropriately praise Christ-like character that they see in me. 1. When a lady does not understand who she is as a woman and does not act as one toward me. 2. When a lady attempts to take charge of certain situations instead of letting the men lead. 3. When a woman gossips about men.
Respected: (1)Communication of trust…both verbally and non-verbally. (2)Affirming good qualities (3) Dealing with conflict in a non-accusitory way Disrespected: (1)When the worst is assumed about me (2)When I can tell someone is trying to find fault with me (3)when something is done behind my back that should be communicated to me
1 Listens to my advice 2 appreciates our differences 3 thanks me for my hard work 1 Nags me to do things 2 criticizes rather than lovingly critiques my actions 3 expect me to want to do things that she wants to do
Encouraging words. Affirmation on my leadership. Overall support.
Appreciation of the work I do, gentle grace when I fail, and a willingness to be led make me feel respected. Unproductive chiding, nagging, and making important decisions without discussion all make me feel disrespected.
When your knowledge and experience are valued. When your relationship is valued appropriately against things, events or other people. When you are asked for your input and opinions for an “outsiders” point of view even if you are not directly related to the situation. When your knowledge and experience are NOT valued. When your relationship is NOT valued appropriately against other things, events or other people. When you are ignored and obviously left out and not asked to “join in any reindeer games.”
Respected => Asked questions, asked to provide assistance, listened to. Disrespected => dismissed, overlooked, made fun of in a serious manner
Listening, ‘respecting’ my opinion on a particular subject even if we disagree. Can’t think of a 3rd one! As far as disrespecting – not willing to listen, or at least respect the difference of opinion.
disrespected: disputing or arguing in public is a bad offense with your mate. not acknowledging authority Respect: complimenting both in public and at home
Taking the time to communicate with me on a personal level about things in general, or asking about my personal concerns, or sharing their opinion — all tend to make me feel respected. Ignoring my presence, or looking the other way when I approach, or disrespecting my opinion — all tend to make me feel disrespected.
The same 3 things make me feel respected or disrespected depending upon their context: 1) Words and tones of voice when speaking to me. 2) Acts of service or lack thereof. 3) Telling others of areas where I have excelled / telling others some area that I have failed.
I feel respected when a woman appreciates something that I do for her (give her gifts, take her places, etc), recognizes and encourages me for hard work that I do, and when she honors my wishes (not ordering her around, but for instance, if I do not want her to be alone with other men and she knows that, then she will not do it). Things that make me feel disrespected is when my work is not appreciated, if she does not consider and listen to my point of view in a discussion (this can go both ways), and when she is not honest with me (like, giving me the “silent treatment”).
Respect- Appreciating my interests, wanting to do things I like to do sometimes, talking to me directly if there’s a problem instead of just hinting that they are upset without telling me why. Disrespect- Assuming that I will know what has upset you when most of the time I have no idea. Disregarding my opinions on things. Trying to change me into your “ideal man” instead of accepting who I really am.
Respected: 1. Really listen when I speak. 2. Ask for my opinion and respond kindly even when you disagree. 3. Look to me for spiritual guidance. Disrespected: 1. Ignore me when I speak. 2. Respond to me in a smart-aleck way. 3. Don’t look to me for spiritual guidance.
How someone spoke to me. How someone listened to me. How someone followed me (example). When someone ignored me or spoke in a demeaning way. When someone refused to listen and demonstrated that my opinion wasn’t valued. When someone deliberately goes in a different direction after seeking counsel.
Respected: listening, following, believing Disrespected: interrupting in conversations, ignoring advice, and not trusting me
5.} What is a common way you see women unknowingly disrespecting the men in their lives?
Speaking badly to them and talking badly about them to other people.
Failing to allow men to be “gentlemen” (opening doors, etc) Failing to acknowledge the real differences between the sexes.
Dressing in “sexy” ways (clothes too tight and/or revealing). This is fine in private, but when out in public it looks as if she is trying to attract the attention of other men (and that is probably what is going to happen). I’m not saying a woman has to go out in public wearing a burqa, but she needs to be careful about how she dresses. She shouldn’t, even unknowingly, be making her man jealous.
Ridicule, undermining, excessive teasing, and anything I mentioned earlier… Dressing is another thing. Not only does the way a woman dresses signify how she respects herself, it is also reveals if she cares about or respects the eyes of men she has contact with. An immodestly dressed woman is disrespecting a man because its not taking into consideration his greatest stumbling block, his eyes. Most people probably don’t think that way, but the Christian should.
Like I’ve said degrading statements about men in general. Men do everything and anything for a women show some respect is all they ask.
Talking negatively about their husbands in a group of friends or acquaintances as opposed to building him up and honoring him.
trying to dominate or control them
Constantly wishing that I was more like her
Talking down to them. Talking down about them in front of others. Publicly correcting their men. Not taking interest in what makes their husbands tick.
I see women deride and put down men in general and not letting them lead. I feel like women see men in the light that our culture puts out in television program as dumb guys who bumble through life while the woman comes behind and picks up the pieces and makes things happen. If that is what women expect out of men, then many men will never rise to the God ordained roles that he designed them for.
Downgrading as foolish the interests/passions/values that the man holds dear
Saying negative things about them, either in their presence or even if they are not around.
Probably the number one way that women unknowingly disrespect men is when they try to usurp his role as head of the family. Granted, men have contributed to this problem by failing to lead; however, this does not excuse a wife’s conduct. When a wife usurps her husband’s role, he is further discouraged from leading. Similarly, the more he does not lead, the more the wife tends to usurp. It becomes a vicious cycle. This is why it is so important to remember that respect is tied to the concept of authority. One of the most common ways that women disrespect by usurpation in our society today is by not meeting their primary calling to be their husband’s helpmeet. Too often, the wife’s career takes precedence over how she can best help her husband fulfill his God-given calling. Unfortunately, husbands frequently do not have this mindset either, which often causes them to tacitly endorse their wives’ supposed calling. In other words, the husband is contributing to his own disrespect! This is not to say that women should never work outside the home. But too often, the wife’s work conflicts her God-ordained calling to be her husband’s helpmeet.
Saying unkind things about a spouse.
Ignoring the value or their comments.
The way they speak to men may sometimes not be apparent to them. Same goes for anyone though. I have unknowingly disrespected my boss by things I have said. Until he brought it to my attention, I didn’t know he perceived it as disrespect. Once I knew what he wanted, I was able to change my direct way of communication requesting changes, to a more indirect suggesting manner which was more respectful to him.
Well, the feminist movement and saying all men are sexist is a massive disrespect to men. But most women are not like that. In regards to unknowingly disrespecting men, it is a huge disrespect when a woman talks about a man behind his back to her friends. I don’t mean when she talks about her problems; I mean when she makes fun of, or laughs with her friends about her husband/boyfriend. If the man finds out, it will greatly hurt him even if he does not show it. Also, not respecting his opinion and not having an open heart when she disagrees with him.
Constantly nagging them to do certain things/being controlling/manipulative.
How they speak to them and about them in public. Rather than build their men they tear them down and demean them.
The comment: “I shouldn’t expect any less from a guy”
6.} When you are disrespected by a woman does this typically motivate or demotivate you to please her or gain her respect?
Disrespect would definitely be a demotivating factor…although we guys are responsible for our own actions
demotivate
I think it is human nature for demotivation to take place.
It’s basic cause and effect: disrespect usually demotivates from wanting to please. That being said, a mature man who loves the Lord should be consistent no matter how he is treated, because you are only responsible for you, and the Bible says that men are to love their wives unconditionally, but yes, it certainly makes the task easier for men when they feel respected. Just like it would be easier for a woman to submit to a man who she feels loves her dearly and has her best interest at heart.
At first I want to make her feel special again then I think about it and ask why would I. But because I chose to love her I chose to make her happy
Highly Demotivate.
The fleshly reaction is to demotivate me to please her or gain her respect. A proper response should be a self-evaluation to see what caused her to disrespect me. After confessing any faults and seeking God’s grace to grow in those areas, I should strive to show Christ’s love to her regardless. This is what Christ does for us.
It depends on what she did but I would probably say it motivates me to try to gain her respect.
It certainly demotivates me and triggers a sinful response to retaliate and ignore my God given responsibilities to continually treat her as my treasured bride.
With anyone that fails to show respect or disrespects you it definitely can diminish the desire to want to please them or gain their respect. Of course our Christian response to them SHOULD not wavier because of their actions towards us unfortunately often times because of our flesh it does and Christian love is not shown.
When disrespected, I either confront or avoid any additional contact…..depends on the prior depth of the friendship before being disrespected.
Natural / fleshly reaction would be to demotivate me, but hopefully the spiritual reaction would simply cause me to ‘forget about it’ and move on. If it was serious in nature than it would have to addressed properly.
demotivate
For me it’s a demotivation to seek to gain her respect.
Disrespect by a woman usually doesn’t motivate me to respect; but sometimes if I think about why she may have acted that way toward me it is usually because of something wrong that I did, and if I acknowledge my error, then respect is gained back.
It totally demotivates me. Because it shows me that she does not care what I do or say. Let me clarify, there is a difference between disrespect and just not being acknowledged. A woman just may not think to encourage her husband after a long day of work in the yard or at the office if she has had a rough day, but that is not disrespect. Disrespect is throwing something in their face that they may have done wrong or forgot about. That demotivates men to please their wives because it shows them that “getting her way” is more important than their husband’s hard work and feelings.
Demotivates, if I don’t feel respect it drains my willingness to show them any love/respect in return.
It demotivates me. If she treats me that way, I figure she doesn’t want to gain my respect and is not really interested in me. If we are in a relationship however, she and I need to figure out what is causing her to act that way.
My desire would be to respond above the level of my flesh which would be tempted to be respectful in return. Hopefully my response and motives would come within the context of the gospel and love in return without limits. Hopefully my motive would be to demonstrate to love of Christ and pleasing Him would be the only motive I would need. However, when my wife, daughter, children, grandchildren, sisters in Christ demonstrate respect towards me it sure is appreciated and helps me walk in the Spirit. I need all the help I can get! (and so does every other man)
always motivates
7.} Do you feel that the women in our culture are generally respectful or disrespectful to men? How about the Church in general?
Disrespectful. Disrespectful.
Culturally we have become so gender neutral through feminism that in many ways men are disrespected in that they aren’t expected to nor wanted to fulfill their God given roles, such as: providing, protecting, leading, instructing working, or even discipling their own families. Also refer back to my comment about dress in question 5… The church in my experience is slightly better, but can have many of the same problems if it is not committed to knowing God’s mind on the issues.
Disrespectful in both. The world has infiltrated women’s mind in our churches to think that they are more important and don’t need men.
Disrespectful – but certainly not without just cause at times.
As a man I ALWAYS hold the door open for a woman. Every woman, any place – no exceptions . . . trained that way by my parents and it took! When that simple act of being a gentleman is ignored or worse scowled upon it is very disheartening. A generation ago that was seldom an occurrence. In this day it seems many woman think I am simply a “doorman” and seem to ignore the act of kindness. So that isn’t exactly research but a personal observation. My life has been centered around one church for nearly 28 years so my perspective is limited but in our church general I find our ladies, young and old, very respectful.
Generally disrespectful. Our culture is sadly completely backwards in this area. I am afraid that the majority of churches have also been infected with this wrongful thinking.
I would say while there definitely are exceptions, In general, both in culture and in the church, disrespect seems to be more common.
Generally women in our culture are taught to disrespect men. Men are some how less evolved then women.. Bible preaching churches teach the man is the head of the household, and that women are to submit to their husbands. all depends on how well the Bible is taught
I think television women are disrespectful to the EXTREME and this either spill over or reflects our society. This can happen in the church just as easily.
I think there is a real struggle in our culture and the Church is no different. The lines between American culture and the Church in America are blurred.
I think in general in the last 30 years or so both men and women have not been taught how different they are and how to respect those differences. Because of this they often times don’t view their words or actions as disrespect. In a world where the lines between the sexes have been skewed, a perverted definition of equality has superseded the proper respect for the God given roles of both the sexes and in general as individuals.
Men want to be needed, respected, protectors, providers. All of these areas in our culture are being deemed inappropriate… Not so much in our church
In the work environment – at times it can be disrespectful. But thankfully in our church environment very rare.
Disrespectful is way too common Church: I would say that respect is about twice as prevalent.
I think women in the church are more apt to be respectful of men, but I think women in general are more respectful toward men than they are represented to be in the media.
The TV culture usually doesn’t portray godly women being respectful to the men in their lives. The women of God in the church usually are respectful.
Most of the time I feel that women are generally disrespectful of men, in our culture and churches. It just seems like women do not respect a man’s authority. Please do not think I’m being sexist when I say this, but it seems to me like a lot of women have become selfish. If they do not get their way, then it is the end of the world. Now thankfully, not all women are like this. There are a lot of great ladies out there that know the appropriate way to act.
In our culture in general, I feel men are generally disrespected by women. I feel that women are often too forward and “manly” in the way they act. However, this is often because the men are acting like immature adolescents, which causes the women to feel that since the man is not acting like a man, she has to take charge. I feel that, although this is possibly less of a problem in the Church, some of the same actions are going on there as well, since church members are often much influenced by worldly culture.
disrespectful: culture reflects that men are lazy and stupid. The closer the church gets to the world the more they continue to show the same attitudes
8.} What are a few ways women can show respect to their casual guy friends, brothers and fathers?
Listening to them
Allow them to be respectful and treat women as treasures, regardless of intentions. Expect them to take the lead and live up to a higher expectation, and show appreciation when they do.
Never say anything behind their back or murmured that you would not want to say clearly, plainly straight to that man. Do not allow those in your company do so either without raising your objection.
To Fathers and brothers, ask for their opinions more often. In general, guys aren’t nearly as verbal as women, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care or don’t have want to share. For casual friends: See other comments about ridicule, teasing, pointing out when someone is wrong, bringing up past mistakes in a hurtful way, etc.
By allowing them to practice some of their gentlemanly skills on you, such as opening doors, allowing ahead in line etc. Also, asking for their opinions on most anything as it shows that you trust their judgments and choices.
Simply ask them if they need something. Don’t think they think of you as a waitress they honestly just appreciate that you care.
All of the above ways in 4 but not to the degree that a woman would honor and respect her husband. In regards to the father – I think that is on a completely different level – maybe different from this context of a husband, but not entirely – there is a time that the woman leaves her father and cleaves to her husband so the respect needs to shift accordingly though not entirely.
For casual guy friends and brothers, young ladies should give them opportunities to lead and be patient when they make mistakes. We are still growing in our leadership skills. Praise them for what they did well. For fathers, ladies should cultivate Christ-likeness. Just as a virtuous women is the crown of her husband, so too are virtuous daughters.
Don’t be demanding, take the time to thank him for the ways he shows respect to you. Don’t try to mother him
Appreciate the differences between the Male if Female in regards to their approach to life, work, and free time.
Listening. Encouraging words. Affirming the positive about them.
Tactfully encourage them to be the leaders, particularly when it comes to spiritual matters. Realized and respect that they are going to view things differently, that their interests may be vastly different then yours. (guns vs.decor, getting dirty and or sweaty vs.clean and dry, etc), and then allow them to act on these difference. Of course as long as it is not sinful, etc.
Just basic manners, willingness to listen or even to speak. A simple hello, how are you, are things going well, etc. Just common courtesy.
Using common courtesy, manners and listening more than talking
Take the time to greet them when they approach the area where you are, and do not assume ulterior motives when approached by one of these.
Congratulate them when they accomplish something. And be encouraging when he is discouraged.
Discuss issues of respect/disrespect with us. Help us know how you feel about it and also ask our opinions about it. Help us be the men you want us to be by letting us know what you expect of us.
Eph. 4:29 . . . build up and encourage, speak grace-filled words Pro. 18:24 . . . demonstrate friendliness and approachability. Pro. 17:22 . . . learn to enjoy some humor, be fun to be around and not always so “serious”. Life is serious which is exactly why laughter is strong medicine!
remove the assumptions that all guys are the same
9.} What are a few ways a woman can make her husband feel respected?
Praising them in front of people. Telling people what sweet things he did for her.Seek to understand his heart in a matter. Praise him in front of the children, his parents, his peers. write him some words of encouragement that build him up. this can be a note in his journal (if he has one) or put a note in his lunch (if he takes one. Put notes in his brief case or travel case if he travels. Send him a letter; write him an email. Text him occasionally letting him know you are thinking of him and proud of him!
Appreciation and encouragement in fulfilling the God ordained duties of providing, protecting, and leading the family physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And the gentle grace of forgiveness when he does not live up to those expectations.
Don’t talk about him negatively to your friends. (How he doesn’t do this or does do that….) Regardless of what his profession or job is, show and tell him how you value his time and effort in his provision for the family. Defer to him on spiritual matters, it will encourage him to grow as the families spiritual leader. Learn his love language and cultivate it, gently guide him in yours. Men don’t take hints very well, learn that and apply the knowledge as needed.
Love him. Help him. Care for him and what he needs. In turn that becomes respect. Then u in turn will have him wrapped around your figure.
A husband must love his wife in order to be worthy of that kind of respect. Its not a one way street – traffic has to flow in both directions.
A woman can make her husband feel respected by asking him how she can best help him fulfill God’s calling on his life and then doing that. Also, a husband feels a great deal of respect when his wife stands by supports him when he is under public criticism.
>Don’t try to mother him >Allow him to lead >When you are not comfortable about something, explain why >Initiate physical affection >Build him up with words of affirmation
Encourage him to be the Man that God has called him to be.
Practical ways include: Asking him to lead devotions, encouraging him to lead, verbalizing that you believe in him to work and provide, thanking him for the things he does on a daily basis, especially things he has done consistently over time, minimize contradicting him in front of others, especially their children, but if you must, do so in a manner that isn’t ridiculing. Lastly, about respect in general: respect should be earned by those who want it. A guy can’t simply say to a girl: me man, you woman, therefore respect and obey me. There are differing levels of respect for a girl depending on her relationship with that man. It is not the responsibility of a single girl to show a single guy the same sort of respect that you would show your fathers, brothers, and especially your husband. If a girl wants to show a single guy that she would respect him if he were to pursue you toward a marital end, then respect your own brothers and fathers. If you can’t love and respect them, you will not love and respect your husband. There is much more that could be added to the topic, but I hope thats a good start and was at least a little helpful.
Stand behind the decisions that have been made – for better or for worse. Learn to influence but not to demand or direct.
Listening, supporting, but also to speak up if the husband is about to make a serious error in judgment or major decision. I would say to support them in general whether it be home, work, or ministry related. Ask them how their day went at work, most importantly fixing him a good cup of coffee!
My wife compliments my work ethic. She says kind things about me to others. She does not say unkind things to others. She tries to be submissive, but she says it is hard.
Noticing his frame of mind, and showing consideration for the fact there may be struggles going on or recently dealt with, of which the wife may not be aware; noticing and valuing his likes and dislikes.
Listen to him when he talks Don’t nag When something is wrong, talk to him about it, don’t just say “nothing is wrong”
Find out his love language(s) and do that for him as much as possible. He will respect you and love you even more than he already does. Also allow him freedom to make mistakes even if you think he is dead wrong. Of course communicate to him if you feel he is making a mistake, but let him know you trust him in his decision even if it’s not what you would do. If you show distrust or disapproval, he won’t feel respected. If it’s truly an issue you can’t trust him in and feel he is making the wrong decision according to the Bible, encourage him to seek other Godly counsel before acting upon the decision. Pray for him and support him as much as possible. God will use you and your respect to help him make the right decisions.
Congratulate them when they accomplish something. And be encouraging when he is discouraged. Make him feel like what he does matters. Make him feel significant and VERBALIZE it to him. Say he does a good job even if he does not, and later give humble and loving suggestions for him to use to make his work better. And absolutely do not be really close friends with another man. It is okay to have friends that are members of the opposite sex, but in marriage you have to put your husband first. And the same thing goes for men.
If he works all day and she stays home with kids, she could prep the kids to give a big hug/celebrate that dad is home now and if they have no kids that she makes sure to welcome him home. They don’t have to cook dinner all the time, but coming home to a warm meal every now and then is an awesome feeling when you’ve been starving in the car for the whole commute and ever since lunch. Another suggestion would be to just be there for him if he needs to talk about his day, but if he doesn’t want to share it’s okay too.
love him. love and respect are almost interchangeable. Sometimes feeding a husband’s ego can show respect and help a man feel respected. Also, not always pointing out a husband’s faults
Wow. Wasn’t that so helpful?
I’d like to thank all of the men who took time out of their busy schedules to participate in this survey. Your answers were so helpful and I appreciate you sharing your hearts with us.
Share your thoughts on this survey with us! Did you find it helpful? Did you learn anything new? We want to hear what you think!
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Today Chris shares one last post for the respect series. It’s a personal story, a Valentines Day story. I think you are going to enjoy it!
It was February 14th, 2012. As a flight instructor, I had scheduled my day with my students to be fairly light, as I wanted to prepare for a big date that night. Neither she nor I had experienced a real Valentines’ Day before, as we never had the opportunity to celebrate it with a significant other…until now. Therefore, I wanted to make it special. Since we are both seafood lovers, we decided that Red Lobster would be a fitting choice.
As it turned out, my morning student wasn’t able to meet with me that day, so this meant that I had until 1pm that day to make my special purchases for a very special young lady. When I came to the store, I began by looking for a dozen red roses. However, the condition of the roses in the bouquets of a dozen at this particular store was marginal at best. The petals were brown/grey around the edges, and there was no baby’s breath or any other greenery as a part of the bouquet. However the bouquets with 8 roses were beautiful. The petals were a vibrant red, and there was a beautiful assortment of greenery among the roses. So I decided to get two of those bouquets, a vase to put them in, some red and white ribbon to tie bows around the vase, and a large red heart shaped box of chocolates to go with the roses. Feeling pretty good about my purchase, I went home to secure them, and then went on to work.
At work, about half way through my second ground lesson, J.J. the dispatcher called over the PA system: “Chris Cartwright please come to dispatch.”Upon reaching the dispatch desk, I noticed that JJ seemed a bit nervous, but I didn’t think too much of it. He then asked me a question that seemed a little irrelevant and unnecessary. “What is the expiration date on your Flight Instructor certificate?” after answering his odd question, he then went on to ask me to come around to the other side of the desk and began asking me random questions about my flight account. “It looks like you purchased this chart on this date…does this look correct?”…”yes?” “Oh, ok…looks like you rented an airplane on this date does that look right?”…”yes??” and on it went for two or three minutes. Finally he said to me “you can get back to what you were doing…I think I’ve figured out what I was trying to figure out. Thanks!” a little confused by this strange encounter, I returned to my desk.
Upon reaching my cubicle, my student was nowhere to be found. As I turned the corner to enter my area, I saw a large red box on my desk with half a dozen of the most delicious chocolate cupcakes with chunks of chocolate melted in them and butter cream icing on the top. These were neatly arranged in the box surrounded by some beautifully arranged red and white tissue paper. Next to the cupcakes I spotted the highlight of the surprise. Adjacent to the red box was a large clear glass jar stuffed full of little paper airplanes. Situated on top of the planes was a little note that read “Things I like about you…open one per day” on top of the jar was a significantly larger paper airplane. The note read: “Dear Chris, Happy Valentine’s Day! “I thank God upon every remembrance of you”-Philippians 1:3 I’m so thankful for our time together these last months. You are so special to me!!!”
As I have shared this story with several of my coworkers when they notice all the little airplanes on my wall and the response has repeatedly been something to this effect: “Wow!! Dude, you mean she took the time to do all of that for you? Wow! I would give anything to have someone who cared about me that much! You must feel so respected!!” I most definitely do feel incredibly respected by such a thoughtful, considerate gift. She combined my occupation (which is something I love) with sweet, kind, edifying complements of things that she loves about me.
Take notes ladies! There is much that you can learn from her. I am grateful for the opportunity to share from my perspective what respect means to a guy. I hope that this series has been a blessing to you, and that you have learned a lot from this. Thank you stayathomedaughter for giving me the privilege of sharing this week! God Bless!
I just want to take a second to thank Chris for making time in his busy schedule to write these posts on respect for us. I found them to be very helpful in understanding what respect looks like to a man. I’ve learned a lot and hope you, ladies, did too!
Chris did a brave thing in writing on this topic, as many women in our culture are vehemently against learning about and following the roles God has created for them. If you feel so led why not take a minute to encourage this brother? Leave a comment telling him how much you learned from or enjoyed the posts or feel free to visit Chris’ blog and become a follower.
Are you sad because the Project//RESPECT posts are through? Well, don’t be! I’ve got a few more exciting things up my sleeves for you!
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Hey Girls!
I’ve had my share of broken friendships. As a child and teenager I had a few close friends who I confided in and trusted to share my heart with but unfortunately some of these friendships, despite my effort to salvage them, ended with much hurt and a feeling of betrayal. During these years of struggle and disappointment I learned many things about life, human nature, how to deal with conflict and dependance on God.
Being a blogger is scary. There are a thousand things that can make us shake in our boots {or in my case heels}. There are trolls and stalkers, spelling criticts and haters, and then there is always that nagging thought “what do people really think about my writing”.
One of my sweet readers recently asked me a question about being a stay-at-home daughter. She wondered how I balance being an adult with my own opinions and ideas and being a submissive daughter. She specifically wanted to to know how I respectfully share my opinions especially when I disagree with my parents.
There is a disease spreading across America like a cancer. It’s infecting our lives, our churches, our homes. It’s an illness that is creeping in subtly with symptoms that seem harmless and innocent at first but if not treated quickly and aggressively will lead to much destruction and loss.
As we have discussed in the prior posts in this series respect is vitally important in our relationships with men. When we show respect we not only honor Christ and show love to our brothers but it’s also very beneficial for ourselves as well.
Today Chris shares one last post for the respect series. It’s a personal story, a Valentines Day story. I think you are going to enjoy it!
As I have shared this story with several of my coworkers when they notice all the little airplanes on my wall and the response has repeatedly been something to this effect: “Wow!! Dude, you mean she took the time to do all of that for you? Wow! I would give anything to have someone who cared about me that much! You must feel so respected!!” I most definitely do feel incredibly respected by such a thoughtful, considerate gift. She combined my occupation (which is something I love) with sweet, kind, edifying complements of things that she loves about me. 